How safe is sucking?

There’s no simple, exact answer. Those of us who get HIV nearly always have had both anal and oral sex without a condom. So it’s hard to know just how the virus got into the body.

Some people feel sure they got HIV from sucking. Others say they got infected from blow jobs but later say they did in fact have anal sex without a condom.

Although some studies find no-one getting HIV from oral sex, we know it does happen. Others studies suggest up to around 5% of infections might come from oral sex. That means the amount of infections among gay men that come from unprotected anal sex is somewhere between about 95% and close to 100%.

It’s usually harder for HIV to get through the lining of the mouth because it’s tougher compared to inside the arse. HIV infections from blow jobs usually involve cum getting in the mouth and/or cuts, sores, infections or inflammation in the mouth, throat (or dick).

If a guy with HIV has a high viral load that increases the risk too. The more men you have oral sex with, the more risk - especially if cum gets in the mouth.

If you’re HIV negative

Being sucked off is virtually without risk. The saliva of the man with HIV doesn’t have enough virus in it to infect someone. The only possible risk would be if his mouth was bleeding.

When sucking:

• Try not to take cum in your mouth. Pre-cum could also have HIV in it.
• Asking men not to ‘come’ in your mouth before you suck them means more chance they’ll do what you want
• If a man ‘comes’ in your mouth, get it out as fast as you can
• Avoid sucking if you have a sore throat or any cuts, rashes, inflammation or infections in your mouth or throat – or if these are on his dick
• Gonorrhoea in the throat usually causes no symptoms, so think about getting checked for it regularly, especially if you suck a lot of men
• Flossing or brushing your teeth can make your gums bleed. Avoid this in the hour before you suck. Mouthwash can take away some of the mouth’s natural protection against infections. Instead to freshen breath use gum or rub toothpaste on your teeth
• Avoid sucking if you’ve had work done on your teeth in the last week or two

Spit or swallow?

There’s probably little difference. What’s important is getting cum out of your mouth fast.

Spitting cum out could bring it into contact with the mouth and gums (which might be bleeding or have cuts

Swallowing lets it touch your throat. Stomach acid could kill HIV. But the virus is more likely to get into your bloodstream through the lining of your mouth or throat long before it reaches your stomach.

If you have HIV

Sucking a man off is virtually without risk. Your saliva doesn’t have enough HIV in it to infect him. The only possible risk to him would be if your mouth was bleeding.

When being sucked off:

• Avoid ‘coming’ in someone’s mouth
• If you know your viral load’s high, think again about being sucked off, especially ‘coming’ in someone’s mouth
• Avoid being sucked off if you have cuts, sores or rashes on your dick - or these are on his mouth
• Get sexually transmitted infections treated quickly (they raise levels of HIV in your pre-cum, cum and blood)

If you’re worried about the risk from sucking, you could use condoms. Flavoured ones taste less of rubber.